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How to Buy a Funeral Or Cremation Urn
By Mary Hickey
Buying an urn is something most people hope they never
have to do. Unfortunately, at some point in our lives we
will probably have to purchase an urn or a casket for a
loved one. Here are a few things you will want to know.
First, what happens if you go to a funeral home or
cremation society and decide not to purchase an urn from
the selection that is offered? In that case, you will
receive your loved one in a very unattractive plastic or
cardboard box. It is estimated that 50%-70% of the time
people leave a funeral home with this minimum option. It
makes no difference if you spend $500 or $1,800 on the
cremation, the boxes look the same. Many people are
shocked when they go to pick up the ashes of a loved one
and get a plastic or cardboard box back.
The ideal combination for selecting an urn is one that
can be personalized or in some way is reflective of the
person's life, as well as being practical for what you
plan to do with the ashes of the deceased.
What you need to think about is; what do you plan to do
with the remains? Here are a few of your options:
1. Bury the ashes.
2. Scatter the ashes.
3. Leave them in your home until you make a decision or
until you die and someone else will have to decide what
to do with them.
4. Put them in a niche in a mausoleum.
5. Divide the ashes up among family members.
6. Travel with the urn to a memorial service and then do
one of the above.
If you plan on burying the ashes, you will want to check
with the cemetery and see if they have a requirement.
There are a few "Green Cemeteries" in the country that
only allow biodegradable urns. Many cemeteries will have
guidelines for you to follow.
Scattering ashes can be a delicate art. There are plenty
of stories of people placing the ashes off of boats only
to have the wind blow the ashes back into the person's
face. This can also happen in aircraft. While the urn
will not do much to prevent that, you may want to
consider a biodegradable bag if you plan to place the
ashes in a lake, stream or ocean. This way you will not
have a problem with wind or waves and the same time you
won't be harming the ecosystem. When selecting an urn
for scattering, you may want to consider a memory chest
or an urn that can hold photos and other mementos.
Again, if you use a biodegradable bag you can keep the
urn to hold keepsakes. There are some urns on the market
that are designed to be used in water. You can do an
internet search or ask your funeral director for
assistance. If you are scattering on someone else's
property you will want to get permission if you would
like to do it the legal way. You may also need a permit.
Personally, I've spoken to many people that do their own
thing with remains, and it's basically don't ask and
don't tell.
If you plan to take the remains home, you will obviously
want to choose a safe place out of reach of young
children or pets. You may also consider the weight of
the urn. Some bronze urns can be very heavy, and if you
need to dust around the urn or move it consider the
weight. Another thing to consider is what would you like
done with the ashes after you are gone? You may want to
mention this in your will or put a note on the bottom of
the urn.
If you have chosen a mausoleum, you will want to place a
call to get their guidelines. Many mausoleums will not
accept wooden urns or anything besides plastic, ceramic
or metal. You will also want to play close attention to
size. Each niche has a specific size and you will want
to make sure the urn you select fits inside the urn. You
may also consider having the urn engraved or somehow
personalized. If a natural disaster were to occur it is
more likely that the remains will be identified if the
urn is personalized.
Should you plan to share the ashes with loved ones, you
will want to choose smaller urns or boxes for the
remains. The ashes should be placed in a small zip lock
bag and then into the smaller urn. Usually you will have
one larger urn and a few smaller urns depending on how
many people have expressed interest in receiving part of
the ashes. Options like pieces of blown glass and even
diamond rings are available that have the ashes put into
the piece.
If you plan to travel on a commercial airplane with an
urn, you will want to make sure the urn is
Transportation Security Administration (TSA) compliant
for travel.
Urns should not be made of metal due to the
Transportation Security Administration's new procedure
on the transport of crematory containers as carry-on
baggage on airplanes. Passengers may still carry-on
crematory containers, but they must pass through an
X-ray machine. If an urn is made of metal or is
metal-lined, it will show up as opaque on X-ray
machines, preventing the security screener from being
able to see what is inside - an obvious security risk.
Please review this site for more detailed information
TSA: Transporting the Deceased.
Also consider who will see the urn. Will the design look
dignified and respectable at a life celebration or
memorial service? You may want to consider materials
that are soft to the touch and colors that are soothing
and up-to-date.
Finally, think about price. How much would you like to
spend? You may want to ask the Funeral Director if they
have a variety of catalogs that you could look through
and you will want to check on the internet where you
will find urns in many materials, designs and prices.
In summary, while it is never an easy decision choosing
the right urn, by following these guidelines hopefully
the process will be a bit easier.
Mary Hickey is an urn designer and thought leader in the
funeral industry. She is co-founder of Renaissance Urn
Company, based in San Francisco. For more information on
how to plan a life celebration visit Next Gen Memorials
Urns and Gifts
View her collection of wood urns: Wooden Urns
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