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Envisioning the Funeral With
Confidence
By Budda Oliver
In American society it is still taboo to discuss one's
own plans for their funeral in public. Since the
beginning of the modern age, the sights and sounds of
one's own funeral have been topics for discussion only
behind closed doors, and most usually after one has
already passed away. If one wishes to have real control
over the events that commemorate one's own death one
needs divorce the morbidity and stigma of thinking
realistically and practically about death from the
actual freedom and creativity that planning a personal
funeral ceremony can allow.
While the rules and customs of a personalized memorial
service are fairly new and are still in the process of
being formulated, at present time, there has scarcely
been more opportunity to speak candidly with funeral
homes, friends and relatives about the possibility and
potential of a memorial service that you yourself would
want to attend.
The practice of planning an individualized memorial
service has been a part of human cultures for thousands
of years. It is well known that the ancient Egyptian
pharaohs and noble men would set aside their most
treasured objects to be placed alongside them in the
pyramids in which they were to reside, but yet for some
reason, in the modern era the idea of thinking about
one's death in a practical way has become associated
with dark themes such as suicide and fatalism.
What the thoughtful funeral planner should recognize is
that the hesitations and anxiety of some individuals
about the idea of a self-prepared memorial service need
not be obstacles to planning a discussion with funeral
homes or lawyers about the practicality of a ceremony.
Though certainly not the only reason, it may be
suggested that the nervousness some people feel about
the idea of a self-planned memorial service reflects
less a distaste for the idea of personal responsibility
about one's own finances, and more an aversion to the
idea of thinking about death altogether.
However, in the eyes of the individual with a terminal
illness or advancing age, this anxiety can be seen as a
fleeing from responsibility. Take the example of an
individual who is suffering from the late stages of an
incurable disease such as cancer. Once one has received
the news from one's physician that the severity of their
condition will end in death, and once one has been told
a time-frame in which they should plan to live, the idea
that one should spend the rest of their remaining time
on earth without planning the details of their own
memorial service can sound ridiculous and irresponsible
to that individual.
Let it be said immediately that in no way is the
prerogative of some individuals to want to plan their
own memorial service a case against individuals who do
not plan their own funeral- these characteristics are
nothing but personal choice and affinities that reflect
a person's sense of self. Keeping this in mind, there is
no reason that an individual with a knowledge and
acceptance of their death should not feel entitled to
speak with a funeral home about their own arrangements,
discuss in detail the content of their will with their
lawyer and their inheritors, and make explicit their
wishes for their own remembrance- if they so choose.
Doubtless, one will encounter some degrees of skepticism
and curiosity when one begins to plan for one's own
memorial service, but one should not let these signs of
mistrust dissuade. Where matters of grave importance
like inheritance and funeral arrangements are concerned,
personal initiative is very much the right of the
individual.
Mr. Oliver is a marketing agent of Morrissett Funeral
Home. The funeral home provides funeral and cremation
services throughout the Richmond Virginia area. For more
information on their Funeral Services Richmond Virginia
please visit their website. |
