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5 Stages of Grief - What to Expect During Bereavement
By Jean Wright

You may be surprised to learn that the Kubler-Ross' 5 Stages of Grief do not even apply to the death of a loved one! Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in humane and compassionate care for the dying. She proposed her "5 stages" to help explain the process a dying person goes through in coming to accept his own impending death. She later said that she never intended her theory to "help tuck messy emotions into neat packages".

There is no single pathway or progression through grief, and that is the main fault of any attempt to stage grief like this. And so, we warn you not to take the following "5 Stages of Grief" to heart. Grief is actually unpredictable. You may go through a stage and then find yourself looping back for another go at it. The stages may even occur out of order.

That being said, we present the following 5 Stages of Grief in hopes of explaining in general what lies ahead for you. We strive to help give you a "handle" on the process:

Numbness & Denial - Shock. Feelings of disbelief or unreality that this terrible thing has really happened to you.
Yearning & Anger - Once the shock has worn off, you will long deeply for your lost loved one. You may be very angry at everyone involved, or at God for allowing this to happen.
Emotional Despair & Sadness - This is the long, drawn-out period of true bereavement. The reality of your great loss sinks in. "The thick of the storm".
Reorganization - You learn how to deal with the practical business of living... without your loved one at your side. A few positive emotions start to reappear in your psyche.
Letting Go & Moving On - Sadness starts to lessen and your loss fades into the background of your life. New interests take on importance. You create a new, tolerable existence for yourself, born out of necessity.

So how long does all this take? There is no true timetable for grief, just as there are no true, clear-cut 5 stages of grief. Some people return to a fairly decent state of mind in a matter of months, while others become mired in a complicated grief that takes years of professional counseling to resolve. You will likely fall somewhere between these two extremes, and take between 1 to 2 years to see a final resolution of your grief.

We have provided these guidelines on the stages of grief simply to help you better understand the grieving process, and to help you cling to hope for the the future. Yes, things will eventually get better, and you will survive this tragedy. There are some coping strategies that can help you through your grief in a more comfortable and healthy way; you can access some of these free tips from the resource box below.


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