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Dealing With Death - How to Find Peace
By Piper Cox
Death is an inevitable part of life and unfortunately we
will all be touched by the finger of death at some point
in our lives. It may be the death of a close friend, a
beloved pet, or a dear family member. Death is a
difficult thing to work through. It leaves you feeling
so empty and alone. But there are ways that you can find
peace after the death of a loved one.
When you lose someone close to you, your senses are
flooded with a multitude of emotions. Denial, anger,
sadness, and frustration are just a few of the feelings
you may experience. This is perfectly normal and
everyone has to go through different emotions when
dealing with death.
We experience denial both when we first learn of the
death and sometimes days and weeks later. Someone has
made a mistake, I had a bad dream, these are just a few
of the thoughts you may experience in the denial stage.
Denial is stronger when dealing with accidental or
sudden death. In this case denial may last longer than
it does when you lose someone to an illness or old age.
Anger and frustration occurs both soon after the loss
and even many years later. You wish the person was here
to help you with a project or you are dealing with
finances you don't understand. It is perfectly normal to
feel anger toward the person you lost. After all, they
left you alone. This is a natural sentiment and
something that you will feel.
Sadness and grief are the first things someone thinks of
when dealing with death. These are the emotions that
everyone expects you to have. You are lost and missing
the person so much. These feelings of sadness and grief
will come and go especially through the first year as
you deal with many 'firsts' without them.
So how can you find peace when you are grieving? First
of all you need to understand that all these emotions
are a normal part of the grieving process. You need to
experience them to properly heal. It is okay to be mad
at the person who died. Someday that anger will subside
and you will have overcome the frustration of loss.
Sadness and grief will probably be with you for life,
but they get easier to deal with over time. It will not
be a all consuming sadness that you feel right after the
death, but it will mellow into a longing or melancholy
feeling. Something you will feel only occasionally. This
is normal after all you lost someone very close to you.
You will always miss them and feel their loss it just
won't always be painful.
Time is a great healer. Even though you may feel that
you cannot survive another day because the grief is so
overwhelming, you can and you will. Face each day and
conquer it! Spend time with friends and read uplifting
books. These things can really help when dealing with
grief. There are many books written about death and
dying. If you believe in an afterlife, books about near
death experiences can be helpful. After the loss of my
brother I read several of these books and they brought
me peace. I had a better understanding of what happened
when he died and where he was now.
Some days you may feel like you just can't face the
world, this is okay just don't let it become a habit.
Many people let grief win and overtake their lives. They
become consumed in their sorrow and almost cease to
function. This actually becomes detrimental to their
health. No matter how hard it may seem, you need to move
forward. Keep your loved ones in your heart, but allow
yourself to live as well. Think about what they would
want. Would they want you to suffer endlessly because of
their death?
Many people turn to religion when they lose someone.
Faith is a great healer and it helps us believe in a
better life for both us and the person who died. Most
religions teach of an afterlife where everyone is at
peace and happy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter
Day Saints, also known as the Mormons, believe that
families will be together forever in the afterlife. This
belief brings great comfort to families who have lost
loved ones and especially to parents who have lost
children.
You can find peace and healing after losing someone
close to you. Remember that it is okay to feel a range
of emotions. Time will help you overcome the anger and
will dull the pain of loss. But you will always remember
the person you lost. After all, they were an important
part of your life. |
