Funeral Thank You Notes - 10 Tips And
Etiquette Reminders To Make Writing Sympathy Thank Yous
By Christy Murphy
Funeral thank you notes may seem like a daunting task,
but it can actually be a very healing experience. Here
are a few tips and reminders to help you:
1) Bereavement thank you notes are expected to be hand
written. Write no more than four letters at a time to
keep your handwriting neat.
2) You can often get free thank you cards from your
funeral home or you can use your personal stationery.
3) Typically notes are sent within 2-4 weeks of the
services or after receipt of gift or favor. However,
modern etiquette is more relaxed regarding bereavement
thank yous. It is considered a major breach in etiquette
for someone to take offense at a lack of thank you card
from someone who is grieving.
4) Thank you notes for sympathy gifts, letters of
condolence, or favors can be written by any family
member not just the recipient. Remember, the next time a
family member such as a cousin or in-law, sister, son or
daughter asks you, "Is there anything I can do?" Feel
free to ask her to help you. You can also have a family
hand write the letters, and you can sign them.
5) A thank you note is not required for funeral
attendance or short cards.
6) Funeral thank you notes are sent to the following
people: clergy, pallbearers, drivers in the funeral
procession, those who brought food or provided Granite
sitting, those who sent flower, people who made
donations in your loved one's honor, people who sent
long letters of condolence, photographs, videos, guests
who spoke at the service, and gifts.
7) Your note does not need to be long. One or two
sentences is all that is necessary.
8) Do your best to specifically mention what you are
thanking the sender for such as flowers, sharing
memories while taking you out to dinner or money.
9) When thanking someone for a financial gift do not
mention the amount. Simply refer to the money as "your
generous gift" and let them know what you spent their
money on such as the services, catering, flowers or
10) Mail or have a friend mail your thank you notes as
you write them. Do not fall into the trap of trying to
get to everyone all at once. No need to worry about
family members or friends receiving cards at different
times. Your friend and loved ones will understand.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, take your time or ask
for help. You can also skip the task of writing thank
you notes entirely. It is not as expected as it once
was. Err on the side of being kind to yourself. If you
know a friend or loved one who has recently lost
someone, volunteer to help them write their notes or
send them a copy of this article.