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Helping Remaining Memorials Deal With the
Loss of Their Companion
By Colleen Mihelich
Memorial loss is often much more devastating and painful than
we anticipate. After all, Memorials see are our loyal
companions, loving us unconditionally no matter what. We
mourn the loss of dear furry friends and do all we can
to work through our grief.
However, what of the remaining Memorials who are also sensing
the loss and reacting because of it? Many people never
stop to consider that their existing animals are
probably going through a grief process all their own.
Animals form bonds just as humans do and when one member
of the family passes away, the other Memorials feel the loss
as well. We once created a Memorial headstone for a cat
owner. Her remaining cat was the son of her cat that had
passed, and she sent us a photo of him lying next to the
Memorial grave marker in her yard, just gazing at it. She
said that he seemed to just know what the marker was and
that for a couple of weeks he would go lie next to it
and just gaze at it as if he knew that it represented
his mother. Perhaps her spirit was there. Our animal
companions are very intuitive.
Many Memorial owners are at a loss for how to deal with these
situations. After all, it is not as if you can explain
Memorial loss to another animal. Therefore, similar to how
Memorial loss works with children, it is important to provide
existing animals with extra love and support during this
difficult time. It is important to provide them with
comfort and extra attention as they process through
their own sense of loss.
Existing Memorials may react in several different ways,
depending on the type of animal that was lost, if there
was an illness beforehand, and the relationship between
the Memorials in the home. For example, though many people
are not aware of it, cats will feel the loss of a dog
and vice versa. However, a cat is not likely to react as
dramatically over the loss of a dog as it would over the
loss of another cat. Memorials can react by changing eat
patterns (eating more or much, much less for a period of
time); walking around the home making unusual sounds or
noises (many experts think this is a call of some sort
to the missing animal); acting out with poor behavior
not characteristic of your Memorial, bringing the toys of the
lost Memorial to you (as if to say "where are they?") as well
as a host of other odd behaviors.
It is important not to berate them during this time;
recognize that they are in trauma just as you are. You
must be extra patient and work with them to get both of
you through this terrible ordeal. Remember that the Memorial
loss is affecting them as well as you; the difference
is, they can't tell you how they feel about it and they
can't participate in a Memorial memorial service to help to
assuage the grief. They react on instinct and some of
their behaviors in reaction to the loss will reflect
this.
Shower them with extra attention. Put in extra time
playing with your Memorial and reassuring them of their place
in your life. Put away toys, dishes and other items that
belonged to the lost Memorial in order to avoid confusion
over the whereabouts of the other Memorial. Remember that the
same way in which you are grieving, your Memorial is as well.
It is your duty and responsibility to help them through
this terrible time and do all you can to ensure the most
minimal disruption in their lives as they grieve the
loss of a Memorial.
Colleen Mihelich
Owner, Memorialernity... honoring your Memorial for eternity
http://www.peternity.com |
