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Memorial Loss - Memorializing a Cherished
Pet
By Colleen Mihelich
We all love our Memorials dearly, they are members of our
families. They are there waiting for us when we return
home from our busy days with lots of love, licks and
purrs. They give so much to us - joy, humor, a quiet
friend, playfulness, knowing eyes and understanding. But
when it comes time for them to leave this world they can
sure leave big holes in our hearts.
"One of the biggest myths about the grief that
accompanies Memorial loss is that it's somehow different than
grieving the loss of a human. When we love and we lose
that love, whether it's a human or an animal, we feel
grief,"Marty Tousley, Bereavement Counselor.
Fortunately, it is becoming more acceptable in our
society to grieve over our animals. As the owner of an
online Memorial memorials website, I talk to grieving Memorial
owners daily and have come to realize that finding a way
to formally mark the passing of a cherished Memorial, whether
with a Memorial grave marker or an urn, really helps the
griever to move through a significant step in the
grieving process. The ritual of visiting the grave
marker or pausing to acknowledge the presence of an urn
can provide a reconnection with the emotions of grief.
This reconnection can be very healing and
transformative.
Here are some suggestions for memorializing your Memorial and
providing ritual for the healing process:
Save your Memorial's collar, favorite toy(s) or any other
objects that were meaningful to him. Find a special box
to keep them in. Put the box in a place where it can be
a gentle reminder of your love for him.
Create a garden or sanctuary in your yard where you can
place a Memorial grave marker. Add a comfortable place to sit
where you can meditate or just be quiet with your
thoughts
Find a beautiful urn to keep some or all of your Memorial's
ashes in. You can permanently seal the urn shut with
epoxy, or seal it with wax so that it can be opened
again. Place the urn in a special place.
Plant a tree in memoriam to your Memorial. Some suggested
trees are willows, which represent the beginning of
spring, a hopeful sentiment in marking the passing of a
loved one; palm trees to signify eternity; or fruit
trees, which signify life and renewal.
Compile a photo album of all of the photos that you have
of your Memorial. Write a farewell letter telling your Memorial
what they mean to you, what you will miss about them,
how they influenced your life, etc. Thank them for all
of the gifts that they brought into your life and heart.
Place this letter in the photo album as the first page.
You can decide to do any of these rituals at any time in
the grieving process. Everyone moves through grief at
their own pace. There is no right or wrong way to
grieve. Know that anything that you feel is okay, and
that it does get easier in time.
In my daily experience with grieving Memorial owners, I
continually hear the great anticipation with which
people await the arrival of their memorial stones and
urns. It is a bittersweet moment to open the package and
unveil the formal token honoring the memory of their
beloved Memorial. I am continually told how the placement of
the marker or urn helps to ease the heartache and
somehow brings a feeling of peace and calm. |
