|
Memorial Funeral Etiquette
By Kum Martin
If you are intending to attend a Jewish funeral, you
will have to know the funeral etiquette, so that you do
not end up making any unnecessary faux pas. You should
also know how to go about offering condolence to a
grieving Jewish family.
Find out the place where the funeral is going to be
held. Some families have the funeral service at a
funeral home, while others can have it at the cemetery
or the local synagogue.
Generally, Jewish are extremely traditional, more so
when it comes to wearing the right attire for a funeral.
Men should dress in suits and tie, while women should
wear dresses that cover the needs. In addition, women
need a shawl to drape over both their shoulders.
It is not a custom or tradition to send flowers to the
grieving family. According to Jewish customs, no efforts
should be made to cheer up the family. For Orthodox
Jewish families, it is best to leave the family alone,
so that they can mourn the loss of their loved one.
Hence, refrain from sending flowers or floral
arrangements to a Jewish funeral.
When visiting a Jewish family to offer condolence or
attending a funeral service, a mourner should not
attempt to begin a conversation with the grieving family
members. Instead, he or she should wait until someone
from the family says something. Once the family member
starts a conversation, it is proper to first console the
person and then say something honoring and praising the
deceased person. A mourner can also evoke some good
times and memories of the deceased. In addition, it is
customary to ask the grieving family whether they need
any help for the funeral arrangements.
When eulogies are read in a Jewish funeral, mourners
should listen to them attentively. Also, prayers should
be shown respect. The mourner can take part in filling
the gravesite with mud. Care should be taken that the
shovel is pointing downwards when putting 3 shovelfuls
of mud into the grave. After the person finishes putting
the mud into the gravesite, the shovel should be stuck
into the dirt and not be handed over to the next
mourner. Once the burial is over, the person should wash
his or her hands before entering the grieving family's
home. This is a Jewish ritual that symbolizes cleansing
of the body.
The Jewish family will follow a mourning period of 7
days and this period is called Shiva. Once the mourning
period is over, it is alright to contact the grieving
family via telephone and seek permission to visit their
home. When a person visits the family, he or she should
carry some gift like kosher food or a basket of fruits.
The person should take a seat that is of normal height
as the low lying seats are meant for mourning family
members. The person should use the visit to console the
family members and offer them sympathy and support. |
