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Memorial Services - How Friends and
Family Can Help
By Ben Anton
Mourners at a funeral service will confront a variety of
emotions as they say their final goodbyes, recall
personal memories, and see others who loved and
cherished the deceased. A well-organized memorial
service can bring a satisfying sense of closure to those
who attend. Additionally, the inclusion of friends and
family members in the service often alleviates stress
for the organizer. By getting involved in the funeral
planning process, it can often help family members cope
with their loss and feel a sense of comfort in having
given back to the deceased. Contributions from family
and friends may also allow immediate family members to
relax just enough to more fully (and healthily)
experience their grief.
When family and friends contribute to the memorial
ceremony, the event becomes more thoughtful and
comfortable. As individuals join together to express
their love for the deceased, each in their own special
way, the service becomes an individualized tribute to
the lost. Such unique ceremonies remain in the minds and
hearts of attendees as beautiful memories.
Approaching Family And Friends
The travel plans, special talents, and interests of
family and friends should be considered when looking for
ways to incorporate others into a funeral service. For
instance, family flying in from out-of-town may not have
enough time for certain tasks. Some people are more
comfortable in front of people then others. Don't
further upset a shy family member by asking them to give
a eulogy or read a poem during the service unless it
feels like a necessity. As you ask others if they would
like to contribute to the funeral, let their interests
and talents guide your final plans. The aspiring writer
grandchild may not be interested in speaking, for
instance, but she may interested in writing a eulogy
poem to be read during the service or the sympathy poem
that may be included in the memory cards. As you or a
funeral director plan the service, continue to consider
what tasks can be distributed to interested family and
friends.
Incorporating Family Into the Ceremony
Funeral planning involves a number of large and small
tasks that can be shared between caring family members
and close friends. Here are just a few elements
typically included in a funeral or memorial service that
may be completed by others.
Music
Musical family or friends may enjoy playing an
instrument or singing an appropriate song at the
service. Music often plays a significant part in a
memorial service, helping express the grief and love
many are unable to verbalize themselves. If you have
someone that may be interested in assisting with the
music, you can ask them to choose a song or provide a
couple of recommendations inspired by the deceased or
their family.
Eulogy
Speaking at the funeral should be a task given to
someone (or multiple people) that are comfortable
speaking in front of others. Speakers should be balanced
where possible - providing a few different perspectives
on the life of the deceased.
Poetry Reading
Poems are a powerful tool for expressing unique
feelings. If you have an individual with a special
talent for writing or poetry, ask them if they are able
to provide a reading for the service. If time permits,
you may wish to have a poem written by a family member
included in the memory book or on a memory card. Poetry
may also be something that can be read as part of the
eulogy, whether written by a family member or just a
favorite poem of the deceased.
Greeters
Family members that are especially social or possess a
certain grace under duress quality may do well as a
greeter for guests as they enter the church, home or
funeral home. Greeters make sure mourners are
comfortable and find places to sit. They also assist
them with placing gifts, donations or flowers in the
appropriate places.
Behind The Scenes Preparation
Cleaning up the house, tending the garden, and arranging
for food at the home or after the memorial service are
good low-cost, high-care tasks for those eager to show
their sympathy through deeds. Preparation can also
include submitting the obituary to the appropriate
newspapers, taking phone calls at the home, and
arranging donation services for the family. Some family
members may also be asked to help write the appropriate
acknowledgment cards to those that sent the family
flowers, cards and other sympathies.
Having family and friends contribute to the funeral
service and its planning helps make the service a
memorable and meaningful one. |
