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Dealing With the Death of a Loved One
By Jim Moustakas

There is nothing so heartbreaking as experiencing and dealing with the death of a loved one. No one can possibly contemplate the enormity of those feelings of grief or compensate for the gaping vacuum that you might be enduring currently and only time can help to soften the impact. Grief and depression are often inextricably linked and it affects all on a highly personalized basis, it will be impossible for you to compare your feelings with anyone else and coping with any trauma is difficult but the comprehension of death can be so difficult to absorb.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is never going to be easy- that's a fact. Death has such a far reaching impact that it can be hard to comprehend that this person has actually gone, and the loss of someone close can have a hugely detrimental effect on how you think and feel and generally cope in everyday life. You might find yourself feeling strangely detached from it all or alternatively, highly emotive, irritable and experiencing moments or rage and angst. People talk about the grieving process as if it is a stepping stone towards full recovery but life is realistically never going to be the same. This is not to say that your life will no longer have a richness and quality to it, but it will take time for you to be able to grow from this experience. There is no right way to cope with grief and no manual written that can help you when dealing with the death of a loved one, especially if the connection between the two of you has been very strong. It is ok to feel wretched and to feel that life has gone horribly wrong but as time progresses, the feeling of intense sadness and pain will soften and blur and memories of good times and lessons learned will start seeping back into your mind and these will become a comfort.

People often believe that grief and depression are one and the same and this is not true, but the deep sadness caused through grief can mirror the symptoms so it is worth going to speak to your doctor to see whether medication is required. There is no shame involved with reaching out for help, once communication begins, the healing process will gradually start. During times of loss, speaking to a qualified counselor, who is skilled in bereavement techniques, can offer you much comfort at this time. Talking to others in your family may be beneficial too but there will be times when you feel unable to open up or to discuss your deepest fears with them or them with you. A counselor can guide you through the process whilst listening to your inner- most concerns. The stages of grief depression must be followed but understanding why you feel the way you do is important because it help to make some sense of the confusion. Bereavement support will help make dealing with the death of a loved one; a less traumatic and frightening experience and enable you to progress through the grieving process and emerge the other side.

Jim Moustakas is the CEO of My Life Assistant Pty Ltd an online counseling and life coaching interactive platform.
My Life Assistant provides a live 24 hour counseling or coaching service by qualified counselors, psychologists and life coaches from around the world.
To get full access now please visit http://www.mylifeassistant.com/depression/loss.aspx select whether you are a general user or a therapist and get started right away.


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