How to Deal With Grief - 4 Proven
By Jean Wright
So you have experienced the tragic loss of a loved one!
May we extend our deepest sympathies to you in your time
of sorrow. We offer below some effective techniques for
How To Deal With Grief.
First, though, it is most important that you understand
that you cannot "handle" or "manage" grief. It is not
healthy or effective to try to manipulate grief or find
a shortcut through it. There are, however, more
comfortable ways to help you endure as the grief process
1. Go With The Flow- In the early stages of your
bereavement, do not try to hide it, suppress it or deny
it. The best thing you can do is to let it in... let the
grief wash over you at will and carry you along for now.
Surrender to the grief to find your way through it. It
is only later that you will find ways to put your grief
aside in order to deal with the business of living...
your job... your social life... your financial and legal
2. Postpone Decisions- Most mental health professionals
agree that you should try to put off major decisions for
one year following a grievous loss. In other words, do
not move, sell or buy real estate, marry or divorce,
adopt or get pregnant if you can possibly avoid it...
for one full year. Why? You just aren't in your right
mind early in grief, and may make bad decisions you will
sorely regret later. And about moving... don't... as one
widow in a support group said... "It's best to grieve
where things are familiar".
How to deal with grief...
3. Don't Grieve Alone- The funeral is over, out-of-town
guests have gone home, and your friends seem to be
getting back to their lives. You may be dismayed at this
time to discover that you have been left alone to deal
with your grief! Why does this happen? Where is
everybody when you need them most? The truth is that
most people, even friends and family, are not
comfortable with grief. They don't know what to say or
how to help... so they just stay away.
It is not healthy to grieve alone. So make the effort to
find at least one friend or professional who does "get
it". You need a supportive "ear" who will stand by you
and let you express your grief without telling you it's
"time to move on". You may even find it helpful at this
point in your grief to join a grief support group in
your area. This is a special kind of therapy that many
have reported to be very helpful.
4. Be Gentle With Yourself- The best advice we can give
you on how to deal with grief is this: be kind and
gentle with yourself! Grief takes time and lots of hard
work. Sadly, the only way through grief is directly.
There are no shortcuts or easy ways to "handle" a
healthy bereavement. So you must be patient and
forgiving... of yourself.
We have given you a few griefwork tips here, but there
are many other proven methods for making grief more
bearable and comfortable. Access more of these grief
coping strategies from the resource box below.