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What to Say at Funerals - Do Not Stand at Grave and Weep

By Judy H. Wright

It seems there have been a lot of deaths of important people in the news lately, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawsett, Patrick Swazie, Ed McMahan and others. We feel sadness and sympathy for their families and friends. Death and loss will happen to each of us at some time or another. We will never be able to feel the exact feelings they and their family are feeling, but we will resonate with the sense of loss.

However, the most important funeral, memorial and grave is the one of your own loved one.

If you have recently lost a friend, family member or close associate, I extend my deepest sympathy to you. This is a time of confusion when we need clarity to make decisions. Perhaps you have been asked to speak at the funeral or memorial or to share a incident that reminds you of the one who died.

Eulogies and Tributes At Funerals

When I have been asked to speak at funerals and memorials, it is sometimes a struggle to have thoughts turn into meaningful words. My heart and emotions know what I want to express but it is hard to find the just right combination of phrases and comments that will touch the spirits of those people who are hurting and alone.

Do When I have been asked to speak at funerals and memorials, I often refer to this favorite poem. Perhaps it will bring you comfort or give you words to match your thoughts. It is often easier to use another person's words because they can more eloquently express what you want to say and are feeling.

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow;

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain;

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

Do not stand at my grave and mourn.

I am the dew-flecked grass at dawn.

Where tranquil oceans meet the land

I am the footprints in the sand

To guide you through the weary day.

I am still here; I'll always stay.

When you wake up to morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry.

I am not there; I did not die.

Original attributed to Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905-2004)

Middle verse added by Lucie Storrs (1967- )

It is a wonderful honor to be asked to share a eulogy of a loved one who has died. To be asked to share is to be given a gift of love. It is also very frightening to try to find the words and expressions which will bring comfort to the bereaved. It is also a final gift that you can give to the one who is no longer with you.

By sharing words of poetry or an essay that is able to capture your feelings it will likewise touch the hearts of those who are in the audience.

You can do it, I believe in you.

Would you like additional poems to comfort the grieving? Visit http://www.DoNotWeep.com This is a wonderful collection of literature dealing with loss and death. If you choose to order it, you will be glad you did. I certainly was.

(c) Judy H. Wright http://www.ArtichokePress.com You have permission to reprint this article as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.


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