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Emerging From Grief

By Sandy Clendenen

The grief process can be compared to the transformation process of the butterfly. Grievers can find themselves stuck inside the safety of the cocoon of grief. There is a sense of feeling lost in the darkness of grief.

There is a push-pull feeling that occurs during grief. Grievers want to move beyond their grief, but often find themselves unable to move out of that dark but secure place that grief can become. The butterfly's journey to emerge from the cocoon is not an easy task. The caterpillar, in essence, dissolves within the cocoon.

It requires effort for the butterfly to emerge and fly into the world of possibility. The butterfly knows instinctively that it will die if it does not take action to leave the protection of the cocoon. It takes a decision and action to emerge into the possibilities beyond the cocoon of grief.

To move beyond grief is a natural process. Just as the butterfly follows its natural process to emerge from the cocoon, grievers have the choice to take action steps to emerge from grief and fly into the life of possibility that awaits.

Maya Angelou has said: "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty..."

Grief can feel very confusing and overwhelming. Grievers can be flooded with conflicting feelings. These feelings can leave one exhausted and vulnerable. But that urge to move forward lives beneath all the chaos and confusion.

Moving beyond grief is not an easy journey. Allow the image of the magnificent butterfly to guide you through and beyond your grief.

Sandy Clendenen provides resources and services to empower widows who are feeling stuck in their grief to move beyond grief and into the new life they deserve to live. For more information, please go to or


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