The Pain of Parting - Dealing With
By Bruce Hultgren
Following the initial shock of death, for many a gentle
calm follows. A way our internal mechanisms disguise the
loss of someone we love. The mourning starts shortly
after the "watershed" moments when we outpour our full
emotions and grief.
The commencement of these watershed moments will
typically start at the funeral. Our journey of dealing
with this loss and of death comes to a forefront at the
funeral or memorial service. And during this sensitive
time is when our culture and community of loved one's
share feelings and grief. A key reason to why funerals
are so important in every culture.
For many, the realization of reality dawns on them when
a specific moment happens. The drawing of the curtains
or the descent of the coffin into the ground can
complete this moment in time.
Right now, at this point in time is when you start
questioning the world, yourself, what you're feeling and
why is the world changing around you so much. Sleeping
becomes difficult, you question your sanity, and those
questions.... So many questions. Even food has lost its'
The words emotional and irrational are most often
associated with people during this time of acute grief
and pain. You see, we're all different and we all have
many different questions.
When the time is right for you, and your mind, body and
soul feels the need, let the river of grief wash over
you. There's no way to stop it, it just happens in
different ways for different people - there's no book on
this! Yes - you - you're different to me - just let it
When you arrive at the funeral to partake in the
ceremony, take a private moment in your world, go ahead
and touch the coffin, say a gentle word, say a heartfelt
goodbye - this, after all, is the time to do this. This
is a person you loved, they touched your life, while you
are in their presence one last time, let them touch your
emotions in the deepest part of you, just one last
goodbye and thanks.
The happy memories are not far away, but in the
meantime, there is grief. Accept that your life has
changed, your world has changed, and the pain of parting
is never easy, never has been and never will be. Now is
the time for mourning to begin and it must begin.
Say the words you need to say. Cry the tears you need to
cry and be thankful that you knew someone who was so
hard to say goodbye to.
Bruce Hultgren was suddenly affected by the tragic loss
of his Sister in a plane crash in 1999. Since that date,
Bruce has dedicated his time to helping the millions of
people around the world who meet these emotions on their
journey. Dealing with Death, Funerals, Grief and Dying.
Now an accomplished writer on the subject, Bruce has
included Funeral Memorial Angels and A collection of
articles his http://www.PocketAngels.com website to help
families celebrate, remember and go through this most
trying of times together.
He has also discovered a gift to write heartfelt verses
that can be found in his PocketAngels range.