The 6 T's of Grief Recovery
By Cheryline Lawson
There are 6 fundamentals of grief recovery, which are
very important to the grieving process. Most people try
to avoid them not knowing that they are delaying their
healing and advancement to the future.
Let us discuss them and evaluate your situation if you
are grieving to see if you are or can implement any of
these six criteria to recovering from your grief.
We all need time to grieve, but how long it takes
depends on the individual. No one can accurately predict
how long it will take for grief healing. Your friends
and family may anticipate and expect a certain time
frame. You may be tempted to set the same expectation
that they have for you, but if you try to please others,
then your grieving will become unresolved and you will
find yourself confused and unable to move on. You will
feel anger, guilt or depression if you are not able to
finish the grieving process. Take time to grieve for
your loved one until you are comfortable.
Tears are part of the healing process so do allow
yourself to cry as much as you want. Let the tears flow
and cleanse yourself of all the emotional burden that
come with grief. If you are unable to cry in public,
find a safe place like your home or a support outreach
center or in your car. Call someone on the phone that
will listen to your pain and validate your tears. It's
so amazing the amount of tears that we utilize during
grief. We can cry for simple things, so be sure to drink
more water because tears tend to dehydrate you.
I cannot say this enough. Talk as much as you can about
your memories of your loved one; especially the good
ones. Seek out the people who will listen to you and
understand your grief. A grief support group is a good
place to start. Talking helps you to realize the impact
and the reality of their death and to accept the fact of
the finality of their death. Most people are very uneasy
to mention your loved one, but be sure to make it known
that you want to talk about your loved one because this
is what will help you the most.
You will miss the hugs, touches, kisses, and affection
of your loved one. You will build a wall around you to
keep out other people who want to show you affection.
You may find hugging to be repulsive and feel guilt for
having someone show you kindness through a hug or a kiss
on the cheek. Let that barrier down. Accept the kindness
that others want to share with you. Allow yourself to be
pampered. Don't be on the defensive. You deserve to be
hugged and comforted after going through such a loss. If
you're all alone without any family, make arrangements
with a friend to give you a "healing hug" if you look or
feel like you need it. Bereaved children need lots of
hugs to reassure them that they are still loved.
Trust yourself to know that you will recover from your
grief. You may begin to question your trust in God and
your spirituality. You will feel anger at God. You are
in a stage of rediscovering yourself and how you will
handle the future. You don't have to be alone in the
decisions that you have to make, but if you are alone,
do trust your instincts and ask for help when you don't
know what to do.
Everyone grieves in different ways. Grieving is hard
work. It is like toiling. It takes lots of energy from
you. You will feel fatigue, struggle, difficulty, and
not motivated to continue with life. You will need to
eat healthy, exercise and take good care of your own
well-being. Recognize that grief recovery will take
effort on your part, but embracing support can help you
not to feel like you are toiling so hard.
Make sure you administer all or some of the six T's of
grief recovery to make your life easier and your healing
faster to gain a life of peace and renewal.