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Tombstone Stones To Tickle Your Funny Bones

Effie Jean Robinson


Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,

And on these lines do cast an eye.

As you are now, so once was I;

As I am now, so must you be;

Prepare for death and follow me.

Which is not funny at all. But underneath, someone had added:

To follow you

I am not content,

How do I know

Which way you went.

Death in the West

Here lies Lester Moore.

Four slugs

From a forty-four.

No Les

No More.

Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona

He was young

He was fair

But the Injuns

Raised his hair


Bill Blake

Was hanged by mistake.

Boot Hill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona

Here lays Butch.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

Silver City, Nevada

Here lies a man named Zeke.

Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek.

(May be in Cripple Creek, Colorado)

Toothless Nell (Alice Chambers)

Killed 1876 in a Dance Hall brawl.

Her last words: "Circumstances led me to this end."

Boot Hill Museum, Dodge City, Kansas

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.

We made the mistake, But the joke's on him.

Culver City

He called

Bill Smith

A Liar

Cripple Creek, CO

On the grave of a woman who died in 1984. Colorado Springs, Colorado. Her son, owner of Zeezo's Magic Castle in Colorado Springs, stated that his mother had been married to a Texan who is buried in Texas.

I would

rather be here

than in Texas.

James B. McCoy left a message on his 1899 tombstone proclaiming his independence from the United States Government.

Member Co. D 17th Iowa Inf. which mustered in 1165 men and mustered out 42. Participated in 19 battles and 3 sieges. Never Applied For A Pension. Salida, Colorado

On a hanged man

Rab McBeth

Who died for the want

of another breath.


Larne, Ireland - On a hanged sheep stealer

Here lies the body of

Thomas Kemp.

Who lived by wool

and died by hemp.

Bletchley, Bucks, England

Winterborn Steepleton Cemetery, Dorsetshire, England

Here lies the body

Of Margaret Bent

She kicked up her heels

And away she went.

Food was the topic of many epitaphs.

Here lies old Rastus Sominy

Died a-eating hominy

In 1859 anno domini

Savannah, Georgia

He got a fish-bone in his throat

and then he sang an angel note.

Schenectady, New York

She was not smart, she was not fair,

But hearts with grief for her are swellin';

All empty stands her little chair:

She died of eatin' water-mellon.

In a New Jersey cemetery

Rebecca Freeland


She drank good ale,

good punch and wine

And lived to the age of 99.

Beneath this stone, a lump of clay,

Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.

Who died one morning just at ten

And saved a dinner by it.

Falkirk, England


Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones

Who ate while he was able.

But once overfed, he dropt down dead

And fell beneath the table.

When from the tomb, to meet his doom,

He arises amidst sinners.

Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,

Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.

Here lies Johnny Cole.

Who died upon my soul

After eating a plentiful dinner.

While chewing his crust

He was turned into dust

With his crimes undigested - poor sinner.

In memory of Anna Hopewell

Here lies the body of our Anna

Done to death by a banana

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Enosburg Falls, Vermont

Here lies cut down like unripe fruit,

The wife of Deacon Amos Shute:

She died of drinking too much coffee,

Anny Dominy -- eighteen-forty.

Roxbury, Connecticut

Eliza, Sorrowing

Rears This Marble Slab

To Her Dear John

Who Died of Eating Crab.


On a Farmer's Daughter, Letitia:

Grim Death

To Please His Palate

Has Taken My Lettice

To Put in His Sallat.


On a grave digger:

Hooray my brave boys

Lets rejoice at his fall.

For if he had lived

He would have buried us all.

On a grave digger:

Robert Phillip, gravedigger:

Here I lie at the Chancel door;

Here lie I because I am poor;

The farther in the more you pay;

Here I lie as warm as they.

Kingsbridge, England

On a coroner who hung himself:

He lived

And died

By suicide

West Grimstead, Sussex, England

On Ezekiel Pease:

Pease is not here,

Only his pod

He shelled out his Peas

And went to his God

Nantucket, Massachusetts

On a Coal-miner

Gone Underground For Good

On an Architect:

Here lies Robert Trollope

Who made yon stones roll up.

When death took his soul up

His body filled this hole up.

On a lawyer in England:

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer.

And that is Strange.

On an attorney:


John E.


"The defense rests"

On a dentist:

Stranger tread

This ground with gravity.

Dentist Brown

Is filling his last cavity.

Edinburgh, Scotland

On a brewer:

G. Winch, the brewer, lies buried here.

In life he was both hale and stout.

Death brought him to his bitter bier.

Now in heaven he hops about.


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